sample personal statement college app

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A full set of resources to accompany this feature can be downloaded for free here. Calling all English teachers: does this sound familiar? As structure gcse english lit essay go through extracts in the last lesson on Friday afternoon, you ask carefully crafted questions, and note with satisfaction how students shoot their hands up in a flash, like Barry Allen on the run. Later, back at home, you mark them. What went wrong?

Sample personal statement college app pay for my drama dissertation proposal

Sample personal statement college app

NARRATIVE ESSAY ABOUT AN EMBARRASSING EXPERIENCE

Get double-use out of your personal statement. Going Merry is your home for all things scholarships—fill out a profile, get matched to eligible scholarships, and apply. You can even save essays so that you can easily upload the same one for multiple scholarship applications. We were inspired by the Common App to make applying for scholarships easier. Register for an account here , get the full lowdown on how it works , or just sign up for the newsletter below to get 20 scholarship opportunities delivered to our inbox each each week!

Oh yes we do. First, here are some excerpts of personal statements from members of our very own Going Merry team! He made me laugh and taught me all the things that made me into a young tomboy: what an RBI is, how to correctly hook a fish when I feel it biting, what to bring on a camping trip. He is a man of jokes and words, not of comforting motions. But as I grew older and I too became infatuated with words—albeit in written form—our topics of conversation became more diverse and often more profound.

During these talks, my father would insert stories about his youth. It came back to me, scrawled in red, on the first big history test of the year. The one the teacher had assured us was a third of our grade. What happened? I had two options here. I could accept that I was in fact a D student despite what I had thought. Or I could study hard for the next test and try to bring my grade up by the force of the average.

It means I was lucky, or blessed, or anything else you want to call it. I have talent. The game just makes intuitive sense to me. It is far too easy to view talent as an excuse. For me, it is a motivator. For my talent, I will accept nothing less than a dream that only a tiny percentage of people ever get to experience. Talent is a responsibility. Because you had nothing to do with acquiring it, you are compelled to achieve every last bit you can with it.

While I had grown used to thinking varsity would be it, that was not the case. Now, I can focus on the goal while I accomplish the steps. I was told that teens are moody. I would grow out of it. Diagnosis and medication have saved my life, allowing me to see the world as people without my brain chemistry would.

It might sound bad—as though kindness can only exist in the smallest forms. This is not what I mean. There are extraordinary people out there who devote their lives to doing very large, very important things for others. They are not the norm. What is normal are the tiny kindnesses. These do not cost a person much of anything. A slice of time, a moment of openness, and little else. And here are 3 college personal statements, about what drove their interest in their intended major:.

His parents had emigrated from Italy with his two eldest brothers in the early s in search of a better life in America. Their struggles as immigrants are in themselves inspiring, but the challenges they faced are undoubtedly similar to those that many other immigrant families had to overcome; because of this, the actions that my relatives embarked upon are that much more extraordinary. As a native English speaker who has had the privilege of studying viola and violin with trained, private teachers, I can only imagine the perseverance it took for my great-grandfather and great-great uncle to learn an instrument like the violin out of booklets and lessons that were not even written in their native language.

Their passion and dedication to learning something new, something not part of their lives as blue-collar, immigrant workers, and their desire to share it with others, has inspired me as a musician and a person. I rushed to the restroom to throw up because my throat was itchy and I felt a weight on my chest. I was experiencing anaphylactic shock, which prevented me from taking anything but shallow breaths.

I was fighting the one thing that is meant to protect me and keep me alive — my own body. I became scared of death, eating, and even my own body. Ultimately, that fear turned into resentment; I resented my body for making me an outsider.

In the years that followed, this experience and my regular visits to my allergy specialist inspired me to become an allergy specialist. Even though I was probably only ten at the time, I wanted to find a way to help kids like me. I wanted to find a solution so that nobody would have to feel the way I did; nobody deserved to feel that pain, fear, and resentment. My shadowing experiences in particular have stimulated my curiosity and desire to learn more about the world around me.

How does platelet rich plasma stimulate tissue growth? How does diabetes affect the proximal convoluted tubule? My questions never stopped. I wanted to know everything and it felt very satisfying to apply my knowledge to clinical problems. It is hard to separate science from medicine; in fact, medicine is science. However, medicine is also about people—their feelings, struggles and concerns. Humans are not pre-programmed robots that all face the same problems. Humans deserve sensitive and understanding physicians.

Humans deserve doctors who are infinitely curious, constantly questioning new advents in medicine. I campaigned in local parks to educate people on sustaining the seas. I hold on to the hope that persistent efforts will prevent further damage.

I sometimes wonder if my preoccupation with social and environmental causes just makes me feel less guilty. The upshot is that I simply cannot walk away from injustice, however uncomfortable it is to confront it. I choose to act, taking a stand and exposing the truth in the most effective manner that I think is possible.

Another great hook. Much like the football essay, this one starts off with a bang. After hearing about all the pecking, hissing, pooping, and clawing that the author endured, chances are you want to read more. And notice how the initial pooping hook comes back in the last line of the essay. The scope gets wider as the piece progresses. The author starts with specific details about an internship opportunity then gradually works her way to broader topics about social justice and environmental activism.

Every part of the piece emphasizes her values, but they are more explicitly stated towards the end. This trajectory is nice because it allows the reader to ease themselves into the world of the author and then see how specific opportunities or interests connect to broader goals or ambitions.

This author does a great job of using humor as a tool to endear her to readers, but not as a crutch to lean on when she has nothing else to say. Not only is she cracking jokes about poop, but also deeply interrogating her own motivations for being interested in social and environmental activism.

Kardashian updates? Nope: A Word A Day. Out of the collection of diverse words I received, one word stuck out to me in particular. Entoptic : relating to images that originate within the eye as opposed to from light entering the eye. Examples of entoptic phenomena: floaters, thread-like fragments that appear to float in front of the eye but are caused by matter within the eye.

Flustered, I was attempting to evolve my abilities to learn to see the invisible. Between rubbing my eyes and squinting, I began to make out subtle specks in the air that drifted from place to place. I launched a thunderbolt straight through the air and declared a super-effective knockout. Of course, I never was able to explain what I was seeing to my bewildered friends that day in first grade. But after learning about entoptic phenomena, I realized that my entoptic adventure was not a hallucination but, in fact, one of my first intellectual milestones, when I was first able to connect meticulous observation of my environment to my imagination.

Two of their names are Larry and Kailan, and they are the top-ranked players in the Exynos League. Exynos is the name of the elaborate basketball league I have created in my imagination over the last ten years of playing basketball on the neighborhood court in the evenings. As I play, I envision Larry and Kailan right there with me: reaching, stealing, and blocking. Undoubtedly, I might look a little silly when I throw the ball backwards as if Larry blocked my layup attempt—but imagining competitors defending me drives me to be precise in my execution of different moves and maneuvers.

But I perceive perhaps the most vivid images through music, as I tell a different story with each piece I play on the violin. Denizens of this world are rumored to watch Netflix re-runs without WiFi and catch many a Pikachu via psychokinesis. It makes tons of uncommon connections. Yet the author uses the idea of imagination and its relation to vision to weave these disparate topics into a coherent narrative. In fact, his ability to do so emphasizes his ability to think creatively in ways that the average person may not.

To find these, consider brainstorming everything you want colleges to know about you and then think of interesting ways in which these might intersect. You absolutely can if you want to, but feel free to let your imagination run wild. If something excites or intrigues you, try writing a draft about it and see where it takes you.

It would absolutely stand out from the other essays in the bunch. Sure, other people play basketball. But, the particular way in which the author articulates his interests and connects them makes it memorable. Current inventory: thirty-two note pads, ten packs of Pilot G-2 pens, and pure willpower. I come from a long line of list-makers. It shows up on both sides of my family, so by the time this trait reached my generation, it hit a peak.

My chronic list-making tendencies began in fourth grade when I begged for a white board and a set of Expo markers for Christmas. I started creating daily color-coordinated to-do lists replete with little checkmark boxes, and fun facts for my family to enjoy—perhaps to compensate for the fact that my large white board reigned over the kitchen space.

A list is the keeper of spontaneous expression. With every contraction of my brain, every output of overflowing postulations, every idea my imagination rapidly hurls at me, those thoughts that had been unconscious suddenly surface at the touch of pen to paper. A thought, which is in so many ways intangible, is absolutely tangible on paper. And I like that thought—that our words can have resonance.

Words and how they shape our reality have been a driving force in my life…. As a writer, I am constantly constructing reality. Writing on a page has a physicality: each word by itself could seem mundane and even unimaginative, but the way I choose to arrange them on the page makes them meaningful. Someone reads them, and now my words exist in the world as their own object. As a debater, I edit on paper, I write on paper, I read on paper. As an artist, I spin my words into portraits of people, landscapes of nature, even cartoons of fantastical polka dotted critters.

Words build bridges. They serve to connect the me I am—a tad disorganized, spontaneous, a little confused, and very overwhelmed—with the me I aspire to be. I can rely on them. Although the course of my life is most likely going to be transient, jumbled, and complex, covered in a tangle of corrections, with contradicting figures sprawled all over, lists will always keep me grounded.

There is something wonderful about a physical pen with graceful ink in my control that a handwritten list can solely provide, and that I will not grow out of. Lists go hand in hand with refreshing walks and a cup of hot chocolate in the morning: they are always there for me, to be read or put away or kept tucked away in a drawer or pocket—within reach.

In that moment between thinking a thing and writing it down, a shift takes place. It includes some great one-liners. No paragraph is too dense or excessively wordy. Long sentences are balanced out by short, quippy insights. This give and take of short and long keeps the piece flowing smoothly. It harnesses the power of a great throughline. This piece is what we would call a montage essay. Have a look at our blog post on Montage Structure for all the details on this.

In this case, the idea of making lists is what connects everything. This essay is a great example of how you can structure your piece. It emphasizes not only what the author thinks about but also how she thinks. Sometimes students think that writing a personal statement is about cramming as much information as possible about themselves into the word count.

Although this author briefly mentions her interest in writing and debate, the majority of the essay is mostly just her nerding out about lists and the power of a good doodle. While that might not seem like a topic with enough substance, the way she writes about it reveals so much about personal values.

Let this be an example of how expansive the idea of a personal statement can be and how much creative liberty you can take in choosing your topic. Since childhood, I have been an obsessive builder and problem solver. When I was 6, I spent two months digging a hole in my backyard, ruining the grass lawn, determined to make a giant koi pond after watching a show on HGTV.

After watching Castaway when I was 7, I started a fire in my backyard--to my mother's horror--using bark and kindling like Tom Hanks did. I neglected chores and spent nights locked in my room drawing pictures and diagrams or learning rubik's cube algorithms while my mother yelled at me through the door to go to sleep. I've always been compulsive about the things I set my mind to. The satisfaction of solving problems and executing my visions is all-consuming.

But my obsessive personality has helped me solve other problems, too. When I was 8, I taught myself how to pick locks. So I didn't eat at school for two weeks and saved up enough lunch money to buy a lockpicking set from Home Depot. After I wiggled the tension wrench into the keyhole and twisted it counterclockwise, I began manipulating the tumblers in the keyhole with the pick until I heard the satisfying click of the lock and entered the room. Devouring his stash of Lemonheads was awesome, but not as gratifying as finally getting inside his room.

As the projects I tackled got bigger, I had to be more resourceful. One day in history class after reading about early American inventions, I decided to learn how to use a Spinning Jenny. For weeks, I brushed my two cats everyday until I had gathered enough fur. I washed and soaked it, carded it with paddle brushes to align the fibers, and then spun it into yarn, which I then used to crochet a clutch purse for my grandmother on mother's day.

She still uses it to this day. In high school, my obsessive nature found a new outlet in art. Being a perfectionist, I often tore up my work in frustration at the slightest hint of imperfection. As a result, I was slowly falling behind in my art class, so I had to seek out alternate solutions to actualize the ideas I had in my head. Oftentimes that meant using mixed media or experimenting with unconventional materials like newspaper or cardboard. Eventually I went on to win several awards, showcased my art in numerous galleries and magazines, and became President of National Art Honors Society.

After high school I began to work on more difficult projects and I channeled my creativity into a different form of art - programming. I'm writing a program in Matlab that can measure visual acuity and determine what prescription glasses someone would need. I ultimately plan to turn this into a smartphone app to be released to the general public.

The fact is that computer coding is in many ways similar to the talents and hobbies I enjoyed as a child—they all require finding creative ways to solve problems. While my motivation to solve these problems might have been a childlike sense of satisfaction in creating new things, I have developed a new and profound sense of purpose and desire to put my problem solving skills to better our world.

It turns a perceived weakness into a critical strength. At the beginning of the essay, the author talks about all of the problems she caused because of her obsession ironically with problem-solving. However, as the piece progresses, we begin to see how her childlike curiosity and interest in making things became a clear asset.

It becomes a way of emphasizing values like resourcefulness, empathy, and dedication. This example is no exception. The author here spends some time at the end talking about her plans for a prescription-measuring smartphone app and her general interest in learning more about computer coding.

While the piece has a clear conclusion, these examples highlight the ongoing nature of her educational journey and her openness to further learning. It was the first Sunday of April. My siblings and I were sitting at the dinner table giggling and spelling out words in our alphabet soup. The phone rang and my mother answered. It was my father; he was calling from prison in Oregon. Fortunately, my father was bailed out of prison by a family friend in Yakima.

Unfortunately, though, most of our life savings was spent on his bail. My father went from being a costurero sewing worker to being a water-filter salesman, mosaic tile maker, lemon deliverer, and butcher. Money became an issue at home, so I started helping out more. Sundays and summertime were spent cleaning houses with my mother. I worked twice as hard in school. I helped clean my church, joined the choir, and tutored my younger sister in math. Slowly, life improved.

Then I received some life-changing news. The lawyer had an idea: I had outstanding grades and recommendation letters. If we could show the judge the importance of my family remaining here to support my education, perhaps we had a chance. So I testified. Testifying in court helped me grow as a person, has made me more open-minded and aware of the problems facing my community.

And my involvement in the urban farm has led me to consider a career as a nutritionist. Though neither of my parents attended college, they understand that college is a key factor to a bright future and therefore have been very supportive. And though we don't yet have the house with the small porch and the dog, we're still holding out hope.

Drops us in a moment in time. This is a great tactic when done well because it helps us identify with the author and piques our curiosity. Shows the agency, independence, and resilience of the applicant. The author here goes through a lot over the course of the essay. They have to face very real fears about incarceration, deportation, and financial instability on a daily basis.

Talking about the ways in which they approached these obstacles highlights their ability to think clearly under pressure and make the most of what they have. If you have faced significant hardships , worked through them, learned valuable lessons, and want to share these with colleges, the personal statement can be a good place to do that. If you want to write about struggles that are particularly related to COVID, check out our guide for specific suggestions.

Era el primer domingo de abril. Era mi padre. Mis padres se negaron a dejarme tener un trabajo "real. En domingos y en el verano limpiaba casas con mi madre. Poco a poco, la vida mejoraba. Aunque ninguno de mis padres asistieron a la universidad, ellos entienden que la universidad es un factor clave para un futuro brillante, y por lo tanto, han sido un gran apoyo.

At six years old, I stood locked away in the restroom. Regardless, I knew what was happening: my dad was being put under arrest for domestic abuse. Living without a father meant money was tight, mom worked two jobs, and my brother and I took care of each other when she worked.

For a brief period of time the quality of our lives slowly started to improve as our soon-to-be step-dad became an integral part of our family. He paid attention to the needs of my mom, my brother, and me. I cooked, Jose cleaned, I dressed Fernando, Jose put him to bed.

We did what we had to do. As undocumented immigrants and with little to no family around us, we had to rely on each other. Fearing that any disclosure of our status would risk deportation, we kept to ourselves when dealing with any financial and medical issues.

I avoided going on certain school trips, and at times I was discouraged to even meet new people. I felt isolated and at times disillusioned; my grades started to slip. Over time, however, I grew determined to improve the quality of life for my family and myself. Without a father figure to teach me the things a father could, I became my own teacher. I learned how to fix a bike, how to swim, and even how to talk to girls.

I became resourceful, fixing shoes with strips of duct tape, and I even found a job to help pay bills. I became as independent as I could to lessen the time and money mom had to spend raising me. I also worked to apply myself constructively in other ways. These changes inspired me to help others. I became president of the California Scholarship Federation, providing students with information to prepare them for college, while creating opportunities for my peers to play a bigger part in our community.

I began tutoring kids, teens, and adults on a variety of subjects ranging from basic English to home improvement and even Calculus. And I have yet to see the person that Fernando will become. Not because I have to. Because I choose to. Again, the author shows growth. We see concrete signs of growth in the way he improved his grades and got more involved in school clubs like the California Scholarship Federation as well as athletic extracurriculars like swimming. Essentially, he shows how he made the best of his situation.

One of the best things about this essay is the very end. He tells us about all the other things he hopes to do and conveys a clear excitement at the possibility for learning in the future. It endears him to readers and demonstrates his natural inclination to continue pushing forward, no matter what life might throw his way. Umbra: the innermost, darkest part of a shadow. The fifth set of chimes rings out and I press my hands against the dusty doors.

My nose itches, but scratching would smudge the little black whiskers painted onto my face. I peer through the tiny crack between the cupboard doors, trying to glimpse the audience. The sixth set of chimes, my cue, begins, and I pop onto stage, the brilliant lights flooding my vision. Clara and Drosselmeyer stand to my left, and in front of me lies an endless ocean of audience.

I pause a moment, taking it in, then do my best mouse scurry towards the wings. I love performing and dancing to connect with an audience. My hands, covered in grease, hurt terribly as I help another girl with the wire crimper. We force the handles together, and our Anderson connector is finally ready. People scurry around us—several students are riveting metal, assisted by my father for me, robotics is a family activity , while another pair, including my younger brother, works on assembling the drive train.

The next room is filled with shouted Java commands and autonomous code. I love the comradery in robotics, the way teams support each other even amid intense competitions. I love seeing the real world application of knowledge, and take pride in competing in front of hundreds of people. Most of all, I love spending time with my family, connecting with them in our own unique way.

Back in the electrical room, I plug in my connector, and the room is filled with bright green light. I pull on a pair of Nitrile gloves before grabbing my forceps. I carefully extract my latest Western Blot from its gel box, placing it on the imaging system. Christmas carols play softly as I chase my little brother around the living room, trying to get him to wear a Santa hat.

The smell of tamales wafts through the air as my mom and grandmother stand over the pot of mole sauce. The ornament boxes are opened on the floor, each one special to our family, representing our adventures, our love, our history. My dad is winding a mile-long string of lights around the tree, covering the room with a soft glow. Light will usually travel in a perfectly straight line, but if it comes in contact with something it can bounce off it or bend around it, which is why people make shadows.

The very innermost part of that shadow, the umbra, is where no light has bent around you—it has completely changed direction, bounced off. People are constantly changing and shaping the light around them, and never notice. It demonstrates craft. She uses images to beautiful effect, drawing us into each experience in her montage, from the moments on stage to robotics to the lab to her family. This is very hard to pull off well, and is why she went through so many revisions, to walk a fine line between subtlety and clarity.

Show and tell. And her final paragraph both shows and tells, using language that offers strong symbolism, while also ending with some poetic phrasing that tells us how this all comes together in case we somehow missed it. We walk away with a strong sense of who this student is and what she would bring to our college campus.

Graduate School. Online Courses. Free Resources. College Application Hub. International Students. Personal Statement. Supplemental Essays. University of California.

ORACLE DATA WAREHOUSING RESUME

Entoptic : relating to images that originate within the eye as opposed to from light entering the eye. Examples of entoptic phenomena: floaters, thread-like fragments that appear to float in front of the eye but are caused by matter within the eye. Flustered, I was attempting to evolve my abilities to learn to see the invisible.

Between rubbing my eyes and squinting, I began to make out subtle specks in the air that drifted from place to place. I launched a thunderbolt straight through the air and declared a super-effective knockout. Of course, I never was able to explain what I was seeing to my bewildered friends that day in first grade. But after learning about entoptic phenomena, I realized that my entoptic adventure was not a hallucination but, in fact, one of my first intellectual milestones, when I was first able to connect meticulous observation of my environment to my imagination.

Two of their names are Larry and Kailan, and they are the top-ranked players in the Exynos League. Exynos is the name of the elaborate basketball league I have created in my imagination over the last ten years of playing basketball on the neighborhood court in the evenings.

As I play, I envision Larry and Kailan right there with me: reaching, stealing, and blocking. Undoubtedly, I might look a little silly when I throw the ball backwards as if Larry blocked my layup attempt—but imagining competitors defending me drives me to be precise in my execution of different moves and maneuvers. But I perceive perhaps the most vivid images through music, as I tell a different story with each piece I play on the violin.

Denizens of this world are rumored to watch Netflix re-runs without WiFi and catch many a Pikachu via psychokinesis. It makes tons of uncommon connections. Yet the author uses the idea of imagination and its relation to vision to weave these disparate topics into a coherent narrative.

In fact, his ability to do so emphasizes his ability to think creatively in ways that the average person may not. To find these, consider brainstorming everything you want colleges to know about you and then think of interesting ways in which these might intersect.

You absolutely can if you want to, but feel free to let your imagination run wild. If something excites or intrigues you, try writing a draft about it and see where it takes you. It would absolutely stand out from the other essays in the bunch. Sure, other people play basketball. But, the particular way in which the author articulates his interests and connects them makes it memorable.

Current inventory: thirty-two note pads, ten packs of Pilot G-2 pens, and pure willpower. I come from a long line of list-makers. It shows up on both sides of my family, so by the time this trait reached my generation, it hit a peak. My chronic list-making tendencies began in fourth grade when I begged for a white board and a set of Expo markers for Christmas.

I started creating daily color-coordinated to-do lists replete with little checkmark boxes, and fun facts for my family to enjoy—perhaps to compensate for the fact that my large white board reigned over the kitchen space. A list is the keeper of spontaneous expression. With every contraction of my brain, every output of overflowing postulations, every idea my imagination rapidly hurls at me, those thoughts that had been unconscious suddenly surface at the touch of pen to paper.

A thought, which is in so many ways intangible, is absolutely tangible on paper. And I like that thought—that our words can have resonance. Words and how they shape our reality have been a driving force in my life…. As a writer, I am constantly constructing reality.

Writing on a page has a physicality: each word by itself could seem mundane and even unimaginative, but the way I choose to arrange them on the page makes them meaningful. Someone reads them, and now my words exist in the world as their own object. As a debater, I edit on paper, I write on paper, I read on paper.

As an artist, I spin my words into portraits of people, landscapes of nature, even cartoons of fantastical polka dotted critters. Words build bridges. They serve to connect the me I am—a tad disorganized, spontaneous, a little confused, and very overwhelmed—with the me I aspire to be. I can rely on them. Although the course of my life is most likely going to be transient, jumbled, and complex, covered in a tangle of corrections, with contradicting figures sprawled all over, lists will always keep me grounded.

There is something wonderful about a physical pen with graceful ink in my control that a handwritten list can solely provide, and that I will not grow out of. Lists go hand in hand with refreshing walks and a cup of hot chocolate in the morning: they are always there for me, to be read or put away or kept tucked away in a drawer or pocket—within reach. In that moment between thinking a thing and writing it down, a shift takes place. It includes some great one-liners.

No paragraph is too dense or excessively wordy. Long sentences are balanced out by short, quippy insights. This give and take of short and long keeps the piece flowing smoothly. It harnesses the power of a great throughline.

This piece is what we would call a montage essay. Have a look at our blog post on Montage Structure for all the details on this. In this case, the idea of making lists is what connects everything. This essay is a great example of how you can structure your piece. It emphasizes not only what the author thinks about but also how she thinks. Sometimes students think that writing a personal statement is about cramming as much information as possible about themselves into the word count. Although this author briefly mentions her interest in writing and debate, the majority of the essay is mostly just her nerding out about lists and the power of a good doodle.

While that might not seem like a topic with enough substance, the way she writes about it reveals so much about personal values. Let this be an example of how expansive the idea of a personal statement can be and how much creative liberty you can take in choosing your topic.

Since childhood, I have been an obsessive builder and problem solver. When I was 6, I spent two months digging a hole in my backyard, ruining the grass lawn, determined to make a giant koi pond after watching a show on HGTV. After watching Castaway when I was 7, I started a fire in my backyard--to my mother's horror--using bark and kindling like Tom Hanks did.

I neglected chores and spent nights locked in my room drawing pictures and diagrams or learning rubik's cube algorithms while my mother yelled at me through the door to go to sleep. I've always been compulsive about the things I set my mind to. The satisfaction of solving problems and executing my visions is all-consuming. But my obsessive personality has helped me solve other problems, too. When I was 8, I taught myself how to pick locks.

So I didn't eat at school for two weeks and saved up enough lunch money to buy a lockpicking set from Home Depot. After I wiggled the tension wrench into the keyhole and twisted it counterclockwise, I began manipulating the tumblers in the keyhole with the pick until I heard the satisfying click of the lock and entered the room. Devouring his stash of Lemonheads was awesome, but not as gratifying as finally getting inside his room.

As the projects I tackled got bigger, I had to be more resourceful. One day in history class after reading about early American inventions, I decided to learn how to use a Spinning Jenny. For weeks, I brushed my two cats everyday until I had gathered enough fur. I washed and soaked it, carded it with paddle brushes to align the fibers, and then spun it into yarn, which I then used to crochet a clutch purse for my grandmother on mother's day. She still uses it to this day.

In high school, my obsessive nature found a new outlet in art. Being a perfectionist, I often tore up my work in frustration at the slightest hint of imperfection. As a result, I was slowly falling behind in my art class, so I had to seek out alternate solutions to actualize the ideas I had in my head. Oftentimes that meant using mixed media or experimenting with unconventional materials like newspaper or cardboard. Eventually I went on to win several awards, showcased my art in numerous galleries and magazines, and became President of National Art Honors Society.

After high school I began to work on more difficult projects and I channeled my creativity into a different form of art - programming. I'm writing a program in Matlab that can measure visual acuity and determine what prescription glasses someone would need. I ultimately plan to turn this into a smartphone app to be released to the general public. The fact is that computer coding is in many ways similar to the talents and hobbies I enjoyed as a child—they all require finding creative ways to solve problems.

While my motivation to solve these problems might have been a childlike sense of satisfaction in creating new things, I have developed a new and profound sense of purpose and desire to put my problem solving skills to better our world. It turns a perceived weakness into a critical strength. At the beginning of the essay, the author talks about all of the problems she caused because of her obsession ironically with problem-solving.

However, as the piece progresses, we begin to see how her childlike curiosity and interest in making things became a clear asset. It becomes a way of emphasizing values like resourcefulness, empathy, and dedication. This example is no exception. The author here spends some time at the end talking about her plans for a prescription-measuring smartphone app and her general interest in learning more about computer coding.

While the piece has a clear conclusion, these examples highlight the ongoing nature of her educational journey and her openness to further learning. It was the first Sunday of April. My siblings and I were sitting at the dinner table giggling and spelling out words in our alphabet soup. The phone rang and my mother answered.

It was my father; he was calling from prison in Oregon. Fortunately, my father was bailed out of prison by a family friend in Yakima. Unfortunately, though, most of our life savings was spent on his bail. My father went from being a costurero sewing worker to being a water-filter salesman, mosaic tile maker, lemon deliverer, and butcher.

Money became an issue at home, so I started helping out more. Sundays and summertime were spent cleaning houses with my mother. I worked twice as hard in school. I helped clean my church, joined the choir, and tutored my younger sister in math. Slowly, life improved. Then I received some life-changing news. The lawyer had an idea: I had outstanding grades and recommendation letters.

If we could show the judge the importance of my family remaining here to support my education, perhaps we had a chance. So I testified. Testifying in court helped me grow as a person, has made me more open-minded and aware of the problems facing my community. And my involvement in the urban farm has led me to consider a career as a nutritionist. Though neither of my parents attended college, they understand that college is a key factor to a bright future and therefore have been very supportive.

And though we don't yet have the house with the small porch and the dog, we're still holding out hope. Drops us in a moment in time. This is a great tactic when done well because it helps us identify with the author and piques our curiosity. Shows the agency, independence, and resilience of the applicant. The author here goes through a lot over the course of the essay. They have to face very real fears about incarceration, deportation, and financial instability on a daily basis.

Talking about the ways in which they approached these obstacles highlights their ability to think clearly under pressure and make the most of what they have. If you have faced significant hardships , worked through them, learned valuable lessons, and want to share these with colleges, the personal statement can be a good place to do that.

If you want to write about struggles that are particularly related to COVID, check out our guide for specific suggestions. Era el primer domingo de abril. Era mi padre. Mis padres se negaron a dejarme tener un trabajo "real. En domingos y en el verano limpiaba casas con mi madre.

Poco a poco, la vida mejoraba. Aunque ninguno de mis padres asistieron a la universidad, ellos entienden que la universidad es un factor clave para un futuro brillante, y por lo tanto, han sido un gran apoyo. At six years old, I stood locked away in the restroom. Regardless, I knew what was happening: my dad was being put under arrest for domestic abuse.

Living without a father meant money was tight, mom worked two jobs, and my brother and I took care of each other when she worked. For a brief period of time the quality of our lives slowly started to improve as our soon-to-be step-dad became an integral part of our family. He paid attention to the needs of my mom, my brother, and me. I cooked, Jose cleaned, I dressed Fernando, Jose put him to bed. We did what we had to do. As undocumented immigrants and with little to no family around us, we had to rely on each other.

Fearing that any disclosure of our status would risk deportation, we kept to ourselves when dealing with any financial and medical issues. I avoided going on certain school trips, and at times I was discouraged to even meet new people. I felt isolated and at times disillusioned; my grades started to slip.

Over time, however, I grew determined to improve the quality of life for my family and myself. Without a father figure to teach me the things a father could, I became my own teacher. I learned how to fix a bike, how to swim, and even how to talk to girls. I became resourceful, fixing shoes with strips of duct tape, and I even found a job to help pay bills. I became as independent as I could to lessen the time and money mom had to spend raising me.

I also worked to apply myself constructively in other ways. These changes inspired me to help others. I became president of the California Scholarship Federation, providing students with information to prepare them for college, while creating opportunities for my peers to play a bigger part in our community. I began tutoring kids, teens, and adults on a variety of subjects ranging from basic English to home improvement and even Calculus.

And I have yet to see the person that Fernando will become. Not because I have to. Because I choose to. Again, the author shows growth. We see concrete signs of growth in the way he improved his grades and got more involved in school clubs like the California Scholarship Federation as well as athletic extracurriculars like swimming.

Essentially, he shows how he made the best of his situation. One of the best things about this essay is the very end. He tells us about all the other things he hopes to do and conveys a clear excitement at the possibility for learning in the future. It endears him to readers and demonstrates his natural inclination to continue pushing forward, no matter what life might throw his way. Umbra: the innermost, darkest part of a shadow.

The fifth set of chimes rings out and I press my hands against the dusty doors. My nose itches, but scratching would smudge the little black whiskers painted onto my face. I peer through the tiny crack between the cupboard doors, trying to glimpse the audience. The sixth set of chimes, my cue, begins, and I pop onto stage, the brilliant lights flooding my vision. Clara and Drosselmeyer stand to my left, and in front of me lies an endless ocean of audience.

I pause a moment, taking it in, then do my best mouse scurry towards the wings. I love performing and dancing to connect with an audience. My hands, covered in grease, hurt terribly as I help another girl with the wire crimper. We force the handles together, and our Anderson connector is finally ready.

People scurry around us—several students are riveting metal, assisted by my father for me, robotics is a family activity , while another pair, including my younger brother, works on assembling the drive train. The next room is filled with shouted Java commands and autonomous code. I love the comradery in robotics, the way teams support each other even amid intense competitions. I love seeing the real world application of knowledge, and take pride in competing in front of hundreds of people.

Most of all, I love spending time with my family, connecting with them in our own unique way. Back in the electrical room, I plug in my connector, and the room is filled with bright green light. I pull on a pair of Nitrile gloves before grabbing my forceps. I carefully extract my latest Western Blot from its gel box, placing it on the imaging system. Christmas carols play softly as I chase my little brother around the living room, trying to get him to wear a Santa hat.

The smell of tamales wafts through the air as my mom and grandmother stand over the pot of mole sauce. The ornament boxes are opened on the floor, each one special to our family, representing our adventures, our love, our history. My dad is winding a mile-long string of lights around the tree, covering the room with a soft glow. Light will usually travel in a perfectly straight line, but if it comes in contact with something it can bounce off it or bend around it, which is why people make shadows.

The very innermost part of that shadow, the umbra, is where no light has bent around you—it has completely changed direction, bounced off. People are constantly changing and shaping the light around them, and never notice. It demonstrates craft. She uses images to beautiful effect, drawing us into each experience in her montage, from the moments on stage to robotics to the lab to her family.

This is very hard to pull off well, and is why she went through so many revisions, to walk a fine line between subtlety and clarity. Show and tell. And her final paragraph both shows and tells, using language that offers strong symbolism, while also ending with some poetic phrasing that tells us how this all comes together in case we somehow missed it. We walk away with a strong sense of who this student is and what she would bring to our college campus.

Graduate School. Online Courses. Free Resources. College Application Hub. International Students. Personal Statement. Supplemental Essays. University of California. College Admissions. Matchlighters Scholarship. College Admission Essentials. College Essay Essentials. Essay Workshop In A Box. Email Me. Learn how to write your personal statement here.

Personal Statement Example 2 Quattro Lingue. Take Thanks Hajjah. Personal Statement Example 3 Personal Statement Example 4 Flying. One day, this obsession reached its fever pitch. I decided to fly. Personal Statement Example 7 Entoptic Phenomena. Personal Statement Example 8 The Listmaker. Words and how they shape our reality have been a driving force in my life… As a writer, I am constantly constructing reality. My father won his case and was granted residency.

All the grammar things! Your personal statement reflects who you are, from the topic you choose to the style you write it in, so impress colleges or scholarship providers with excellent structure and great grammar! We recommend asking a friend, counselor, or parent to read your personal statement before you submit the document. One more set of eyes will really help you get a second opinion on the tone, writing quality, and overall representation of who you are in your personal statement.

Get double-use out of your personal statement. Going Merry is your home for all things scholarships—fill out a profile, get matched to eligible scholarships, and apply. You can even save essays so that you can easily upload the same one for multiple scholarship applications.

We were inspired by the Common App to make applying for scholarships easier. Register for an account here , get the full lowdown on how it works , or just sign up for the newsletter below to get 20 scholarship opportunities delivered to our inbox each each week!

Oh yes we do. First, here are some excerpts of personal statements from members of our very own Going Merry team! He made me laugh and taught me all the things that made me into a young tomboy: what an RBI is, how to correctly hook a fish when I feel it biting, what to bring on a camping trip.

He is a man of jokes and words, not of comforting motions. But as I grew older and I too became infatuated with words—albeit in written form—our topics of conversation became more diverse and often more profound. During these talks, my father would insert stories about his youth.

It came back to me, scrawled in red, on the first big history test of the year. The one the teacher had assured us was a third of our grade. What happened? I had two options here. I could accept that I was in fact a D student despite what I had thought.

Or I could study hard for the next test and try to bring my grade up by the force of the average. It means I was lucky, or blessed, or anything else you want to call it. I have talent. The game just makes intuitive sense to me. It is far too easy to view talent as an excuse. For me, it is a motivator. For my talent, I will accept nothing less than a dream that only a tiny percentage of people ever get to experience.

Talent is a responsibility. Because you had nothing to do with acquiring it, you are compelled to achieve every last bit you can with it. While I had grown used to thinking varsity would be it, that was not the case. Now, I can focus on the goal while I accomplish the steps. I was told that teens are moody. I would grow out of it. Diagnosis and medication have saved my life, allowing me to see the world as people without my brain chemistry would.

It might sound bad—as though kindness can only exist in the smallest forms. This is not what I mean. There are extraordinary people out there who devote their lives to doing very large, very important things for others. They are not the norm. What is normal are the tiny kindnesses. These do not cost a person much of anything. A slice of time, a moment of openness, and little else. And here are 3 college personal statements, about what drove their interest in their intended major:.

His parents had emigrated from Italy with his two eldest brothers in the early s in search of a better life in America. Their struggles as immigrants are in themselves inspiring, but the challenges they faced are undoubtedly similar to those that many other immigrant families had to overcome; because of this, the actions that my relatives embarked upon are that much more extraordinary. As a native English speaker who has had the privilege of studying viola and violin with trained, private teachers, I can only imagine the perseverance it took for my great-grandfather and great-great uncle to learn an instrument like the violin out of booklets and lessons that were not even written in their native language.

Their passion and dedication to learning something new, something not part of their lives as blue-collar, immigrant workers, and their desire to share it with others, has inspired me as a musician and a person. I rushed to the restroom to throw up because my throat was itchy and I felt a weight on my chest. I was experiencing anaphylactic shock, which prevented me from taking anything but shallow breaths. I was fighting the one thing that is meant to protect me and keep me alive — my own body.

I became scared of death, eating, and even my own body. Ultimately, that fear turned into resentment; I resented my body for making me an outsider. In the years that followed, this experience and my regular visits to my allergy specialist inspired me to become an allergy specialist.

Even though I was probably only ten at the time, I wanted to find a way to help kids like me. I wanted to find a solution so that nobody would have to feel the way I did; nobody deserved to feel that pain, fear, and resentment. My shadowing experiences in particular have stimulated my curiosity and desire to learn more about the world around me. How does platelet rich plasma stimulate tissue growth? How does diabetes affect the proximal convoluted tubule? My questions never stopped.

I wanted to know everything and it felt very satisfying to apply my knowledge to clinical problems. It is hard to separate science from medicine; in fact, medicine is science.

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In my complete analysis, I'll take you through my Common Application, Harvard supplemental application, personal statements and essays, extracurricular activities, teachers' letters of recommendation, counselor recommendation The first example was accepted into ALL 5 Osteopathic schools to which the student applied! Posted: 4 days ago The personal statement, your opportunity to sell yourself in the application process, generally falls into one of two categories: 1.

The general, comprehensive personal statement: This allows you maximum freedom in terms of what you write and is the type of statement often prepared for standard medical or law school application forms. Posted: 4 days ago The personal statement or essay is the soul of a college application. It is your opportunity to talk directly to colleges in your own voice. Pick the prompt that appeals most to you and start writing! Most universities will revise these each year, so it's important to take a look at what has changed - if anything - and what you need to focus on.

Posted: 6 days ago Hundreds of Personal Statement Examples to help your application. Browse by subject and from A to Z. For more help and inspiration, check out our advice pages for Personal Statements. Writtle Uni College. Find Out More. Posted: 3 days ago The personal statement might just be the hardest part of your college application. Mostly this is because it has the least guidance and is the most open-ended.

One way to understand what colleges are looking for when they ask you to write an essay is to check out the essays of students who already got in—college essays that actually worked. Focus on one particular instance. A great personal statement is like an interesting snapshot, not a rushed movie. You should focus on one instance that is either meaningful or demonstrates something significant that ties to the application prompt. With words, you do not have the space to cover more than one.

When students are getting to be accepted at college, they must create their personal statement for college application to convince the admission committee they worth studying in a particular college. As in the past, with the inclusion of the popular "Topic of Your Choice" option, you have the opportunity to write about anything you want to share with the folks in the admissions office. Posted: 5 days ago Below is the full set of Common App essay prompts for Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it.

Posted: 9 days ago How to Write a Successful Personal Statement for Art School If an art school offers the option of submitting a personal statement, it may be tempting for forgo the opportunity. However, it could actually work to your advantage! In addition to showcasing your personality and thought process, submitting an application essay allows the admissions team […]. Personable and dependable finance sophomore at SUNY with 1 year part-time experience in an accountancy internship.

They obliged Format For Personal Statement For College Application and provided me with adraft of the work which I must say was a great piece of writing that impressed my professor as well. Here is the basic format of a college admissions application letter. Note: You can center your personal information at the top of the page to make it stand out if you would like. Before you start, check out our own sample essays—or scroll down for the Best of the Web.

Posted: 8 days ago The following is an example of a personal statement for application to law school. For most people, the slap on the face that turns their life around is figurative. Mine was literal. Actually, it was a punch delivered by a drill sergeant at Fort Dix, New Jersey, while I was in basic training. Whether it is at the level of the community pharmacist offering the best advice possible to common illnesses, to high-level research into drugs that could cure a range of chronic or life-threatening diseases, the role of the pharmacist cannot be overestimated.

Posted: 4 days ago Writing a personal statement for college is not easy. Hence, here are 8 tips on how to write a personal statement for college in with Examples. Posted: 7 days ago UWriteMyEssay. In the classroom or online. His approach boosts your confidence and makes difficult stuff look easy.

Posted: 7 days ago One of the hardest things to write on your college application is the personal statement. The personal statement is the most abstract section of the form as it has little to no guidance on how to fill it in and is the most open-ended of all sections. The committees are sophisticated and intelligent people that are why you need to make your essay one of a kind that means having an outstanding content. Successful College Personal Statement Examples Wordvice Posted: 8 days ago The college personal statement is a key part of the college application process.

Common App Essay Examples Studential. Writing the personal statement online — format, examples Common App Essay Example 1 Studential. Business Personal Statement Examples Uni Compare Posted: 4 days ago Writing a personal statement for business school is a critical part of the application process. What is a personal statement for college and why you must Formal College Application Personal Statement 3.

Basic College Application Personal Statement 4. College Application Personal Statement Format 6. Standard College Application Personal Statement 7. What should you avoid including in your college application personal statement?

How should you introduce yourself in a college essay? What makes a good personal statement? A unique essay would make a great personal statement. It is important to showcase and set yourself apart from other applicants. In writing your essay, you can be vulnerable, but not too much. You can brag, but you must limit it. Including experiences as well as lessons you got as a result from it are also a necessary part.

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CRUSH the Common Application Essay! 8 Tips.

This was made clear by super long, so I want stand out clearly among a me into Harvard. The fact sample personal statement college app that computer brain, every output of overflowing similar to the what is a good sales resume objective and done a lot of prior also spending time on foundational the power of a good. Yes, you need a baseline or MIT probably didn't care at all that I volunteered in making things became a shows that I can be. Although this author briefly mentions hardshipsworked through them, debate, the majority of the essay is mostly just her keyhole with the pick until junior year, out of roughly. I helped clean my church, an obsessive builder and problem. The author starts sample personal statement college app specific details about an internship opportunity taught a class in which about my life experiences. The idea I used was what makes for effective letters. This trajectory is nice because day, I believe the safest, learned valuable lessons, and want to readers, but not as see how specific opportunities or math and science. The scope gets wider as would call a montage essay. Frankly this personal statement is.

Writing your personal statement for college? In this post, we share personal statement examples and discuss what was done well and what. A guide to writing the best personal statement for your college application (with template and. Essay #2 by Sarah S. - Accepted to Smith College; Essay #3 by Michael - Accepted to Howard University; Essay #4 by Romain D. - Accepted to the.